Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Match Story #2: Chemistry

Drumroll please...I went on my first match.com date last night!! Generally, I don't get particularly nervous before first dates.  Not so this time.  I was kind of sort of nervous ALL DAY LONG.  The more I thought about it, the weirder it felt.  I was about to have drinks with someone I had never even met!  My friends pointed out that it's really no different from going on a first date with someone you met at a bar.  When you meet someone at a bar, you probably chat on average for 10-60 minutes?  Long enough to know where they're from, what they do, where they went to school and maybe another tidbit or two.  When you meet someone online, you probably exchange a few emails.  Long enough to know where they're from, what they do, where they went to school and probably a few MORE tidbits.

So really, the only bit that really distinguishes the two is the looks factor.  But even that is debatable, becuase when you meet someone at a bar, it's likely that you've been drinking.  Is your hazey memory of that "cute guy" really more accurate than the 5 to 10 pictures that a guy picks to put on a dating site?  I'm not so sure. 

All things considered, it should be a relatively level playing field.  EXCEPT for that good ol' intangible thing called chemistry.  I kind of hate that word.  It's such a dating buzzword, like "networking" and "work-life balance" (which I realize is 3 words).   But even so, I'm starting to think "chemistry" is just another reason that it's less likely I'll meet someone with actual potential on match.

The thing is, I nix guys who message or wink at me purely based on their profiles.  And well, 80% of my decision is based on their pictures.  Now, I don't think that's unfair of me, considering that's basically all you have to go on when you're looking at someone's profile.  BUT if I look back at the guys I've dated and been attracted to in the past, I can pretty definitively say that I probably would've ignored them too had I only seen their match profile.  The reason for my attraction to them wasn't necessarily that they expressed themselves well in words or that they were photogenic.  Nope, it was almost always simply chemistry

So if I wasn't already underwhelmed by match, now I'm becoming increasingly skeptical.  Who knows, maybe one day, the stars will align and I'll find someone with a good profile AND chemistry.  But as far as Match Date #1 is concerned, well, it just wasn't there.

No comments:

Post a Comment