Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Match Date #1 Breakdown

Alright, let me just first admit that this is going to be really honest.  No holding back.  Which means it is also going to be really nit-picky, petty and shallow.  Consider yourself warned.

So when I left the date, I thought, alright well, that was fine.  I guess I would go out with him again.  But then I got home and started thinking about all the negatives.  And then today as I was describing it to my friends, I remembered even MORE negatives.  And here they are.  Some of them.

Planning the date.  When we had messaged about meeting up, he had suggested that we meet on Monday at 7 at Madison Square Park.  My initial thoughts, in order, were:  "Uh, Madison Square Park??  Are we going to Shake Shack?  Do they serve alcohol there?  I don't really eat burgers. Maybe I could get a shake. This is a weird spot to pick.  What?"  Ultimately I figured, hey, he was very specific so at least that shows he can take some initiative.  So fast forward to Monday.  I text him as I'm leaving work and he texts back "Do you have a place in mind?"  So I'm thinking, what?!?  Didn't he already suggest Madison Square Park?  Long story short, I say no, he suggests Madison Square Park again and I suggest that we get a drink in Bryant Park.  Which is what we did.  I personally think alcohol should always be at least an option on a first date.

Height.  His profile said he was 5'9".  I was wearing flats.  He did NOT seem 5'9".  Now, I think I may very well have a warped perception of height, as two of my best guy friends are 6'5" and 6'3" and I think 'A','B', 'C', 'D', 'E' and 'F' were all at least 6'.  Well, 'D' may have been 5'11".  Anyway, this guy did NOT seem 5'9".  Maybe 5'8".  Maybe even 5'7".  In any case, possibly shorter than advertised and definitely shorter I would like.

Religion.  I don't particularly care what religion someone subscribes to or if they're religious at all as long as they're respectful of other people's beliefs.  He frowned upon those he deemed fundamentalist.  When we were talking about where we grew up, he asked me if it weird to grow up not religious when everyone else around me was.  I was a little taken aback.  I don't say anything about my religious beliefs on my profile, so I wasn't sure how he assumed that (a) I am not religious now and (b) I wasn't religious then.  Maybe he had me confused with someone else?  I told him that I went to church twice a week in high school.  He back-tracked a bit.   Apart from that, he also expressed his dismay that his friend thought they should teach Creationism in school.  And then he continued on to say how he just couldn't understand how anyone could possibly believe that Creationism is a valid theory.  I found his tone condescending and elitist.  I guess this is why you're not supposed to talk about religion on a first date.

Other dates.  Somehow the topic of other dates came up.  I told him how weird some of the guys on match were, especially the guys who sent follow-up messages when I didn't respond to their initial emails.   So then he told me how he messaged this photo editor (who he thought was "like so amazing" and with whom he had "so much in common"), and she didn't respond, but he messaged her again anyway to invite her to a photo exhibit he thought she might enjoy, and he still didn't hear back from her at all for two weeks until THAT MORNING (the day of our date) when she messaged him back.  Uhh.  I mean, don't get me wrong, obviously this is not exclusive, and obviously I know we are all probably seeing multiple people at once, but come on.  Really?  Didn't need to know any of that.

Just a little awkward.  He said, "So you're a lawyer huh."  I said, "Yup, I'm a lawyer." He said, "Like, a real one?  Barred and everything?" .... ummm yeah.  But what I really wanted to say was, no, I'm a fake lawyer, and I chase fake ambulances.

Post-date.  So the end of the date was sort of awkward.  He asked if I wanted to grab something to eat.  I declined.  And when I got home, I logged into match.  On match, you can see when someone else is online, so it occurred to me that it would be really awkward if he saw that I was online.  But I did it anyway.  And he saw.  And he sent me a message that said, "haha your [sic] online right now!"  Oh lordy.  Awkward.  And then he tried to add me as a gchat contact.  I declined.

On a positive note, I did like how passionate he was about his job.  That's always nice.  We had also studied abroad in the same random city.  But given the above, and the lack of chemistry, I'm pretty sure there won't be a Match Date #2 with Match Guy #1. On to the next.

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