Thursday, April 22, 2010

Never Go to Bed Angry

So you know how they say never let the sun go down on your anger or whatever?  Well I was a little annoyed last night with 'F' but didn't care to do anything about it so I just went to bed.  I didn't think I was that mad, but apparently I was, because I ended up dreaming about him.

I dreamt that I was at some dinner theater (yes, dinner theater, I dream about dinner theater...) thing with a few girlfriends and apparently 'F' was on the board of directors of the theater group.  So before the play starts, the person announcing the play says, "Is 'F' here yet?" And of course, I'm like, oh shit, 'F' is going to be here?  Apparently I was already mad at him in my dream.

So he's not there yet, and the play begins, and he comes in, rudely late and looking kind of sloppy, like he's already had a few drinks.  He sits at the table near us with some guys and I whisper not so discreetly to my girlfriends, "That's him.  My 8 o'clock.  That's 'F'."  They all turn to look just as he is similarly whispering to his friend and pointing at me.  Our eyes meet, we stop for a split second, and turn immediately away, pretending like we didn't just see each other.

And then he says something passive-aggressive to his friend about me, clearly raising his voice so I hear what he says.  Without even looking at him, I respond in kind.  Soon enough it escalates into a full-on screaming match.  In public.  At some point I look at him and say, "Oh my god, stop it.  We're in public."

And then I hear someone snicker in the backround, "Ah couples and their fighting."  And I look over, astonished, and sputter, "But...but...we're not EVEN DATING!!!!"

This is about when I woke up.

So I went to bed only slightly annoyed with 'F' but I woke up so completely and totally angry at him.  I could even feel the tension in my back and really wished I had a giant punching bag in my apartment.  It was like 6am.  He wakes up early.  So I texted him a totally angry message.  He apologized but his response infuriated me even more!  So I responded with an even angrier text.  He apologized again.

I feel a little silly that my really stupid dream prompted me to action, but man, oh man.  It sure does feel good to get even just that little bit of anger out there and off my chest.

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