Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Straight Guys & Online Dating

Every single one of my single girlfriends has been, or is, on some sort of dating website. Every single one of my single gay friends has been, or is, on some sort of dating website. Every single one of my single straight guy friends refuses to join, or denies being on, any sort of dating website.

I came really close to convincing one of my straight guy friends to get on He had once said that he wouldn't try online dating until he was in his 30s. (He was 25 at the time.) Ten months in New York and he was whistling a different tune. So what made him (almost) change his mind? It may have been because he hadn't been on a date in over 8 months. But I think what really sent him over the edge was the night he got hit on by a guy at a bar where we were playing beer pong. After that night, he agreed that if I drafted a profile for him, he'd consider joining match. But then, that very weekend, he went to a wedding and met a bridesmaid, and there went my carefully constructed profile for FoodieBanker25.

Actually, two of my guy friends have done online dating. But neither of them know that I know. One met his current girlfriend online. He told me that they met at a Halloween party. I didn't learn until almost 9 months later (from her) that by "Halloween party," he really meant JDate.

My other guy friend who's online flat-out denied that he was online. One of my girlfriends stumbled across his profile as she was browsing OkCupid and called me immediately. I thought it would be hysterically funny if she messaged him but she, perhaps wisely, refused. The next time I saw him, I casually mentioned how I was thinking about joining eHarmony and then asked him, point-blank, if he had tried online dating. I think he shuttered and said something like, "Oh god no."

So why are single straight guys in their 20s so embarrassed by the idea of online dating? Is it because guys think they should have enough game to pick girls up at bars and at Halloween parties? Is it that guys see online dating as a last resort when all else fails? Or is it just that guys don't want to admit that they too are looking for someone to love?

*Disclaimer - this is all maybe a little hypocritical since I haven't actually tried online dating either.  But someday...

1 comment:

  1. Well, i'm not single anymore BUT, i went through a phase where i "looked" on those dating websites and I have to say it was super hard ot find a 20somethign guy that wasnt a total creeper....maybe theyre embarrassed because they think they should be able to get a date...but wouldn't you want a guy who wouldnt be embarrassed or have an ego aout that kind fo thing in the first place? maybe the picks on the site already arent so