Waiting

My generation (the "Millenials" or "Gen Y" or whatever other arbitrary name has been assigned to us) is collectively known as a bunch of whiny, entitled, lazy, willfully ignorant (my favorite), spoiled brats.  You won't get much of an argument from me on this point; too often I fit the description of a Millenial.  But if there's something that irks me to no end about the Millenial mindset is the attitude exemplified in John Mayer's Waiting for the World to Change.  I used to really love that song until one day I actually thought about the lyrics.  It is so symptomatic of our generation to say something like, "We just feel like we don't have the means / To rise above and beat it / So we keep waiting / Waiting on the world to change."  If there was a theme song for Millenials, I'd say that's it.  We complain, and then we shrug our shoulders and say there's nothing we can do about it.  We're a generation that doesn't effect change so much as wait for someone else to do it for us.

Now it's not as though I'm out there working on a grassroots campaign to change the world, but when it comes to my personal life, I'm not a fan of waiting around.  I do not subscribe to the love-happens-when-you-least-expect-it school of thought, I'm more of a when-it-rains-it-pours kind of girl.

And so, I've done all sorts of things since moving to New York to inject change into my life.  A lot of it has been motivated by dating.  Forcing myself to go out.  Forcing myself to go on second dates even when I know they're not leading anywhere.  Forcing myself to try match.  And then every time that starts feeling empty, I try to fill the void simply by keeping busy with things I enjoy.  Signing up for classes.  Signing up for sports teams.  Signing up for a blog.  Signing up for community service projects.   Signing up for things that make me feel like I am enriching my life in any sort of way.  Signing up for things that keep me from feeling like I am wasting away my weekends and evenings sitting in front of my TV, alone.  

But sometimes it all seems like a rather temporary fix.  I can keep myself busy all I want, but at the end of the day, I still come home to an empty apartment and I still don't have any real control over certain aspects of my life.  It still feels as though I am waiting around.  Waiting on the world to change.