Reminders

The month of September was quite blissfully boy-free.  As the month drew to an end, I wondered to myself whether I should sit down and re-evaluate this dating break.  Should I set a date (pun not intended) for when I need to make myself get back out there? And then I thought about just how ridiculous that sounds.  Sometime it's nice to set "goals" but maybe I could benefit from a little less structure and a little more enjoying what life throws at me.

This weekend confirmed that for me.  I went to a wedding - one of the most fun weddings I've been to -  small and casual and just lovely.  It was in the groom's parents' backyard, the tent was set up right next to the groom's childhood swing set, the bride's friend from college officiated the ceremony, the guests sipped bloody marys during the vows and everyone was drunk by about 4:30 pm (Irish wedding).  So, not unsurprisingly I suppose, I wound up shacking up with one of the few single guys there.

Now usually after a hook-up with a random guy, I wake up the morning after with a terrible hangover and a feeling of self-loathing.  But not this time.  This time I woke up and couldn't help but just smile when he reminded me that he had written "I heart men" on my arm like a tattoo and then laugh in horror when I discovered a dried-up lime wedge in my purse.

I'm not quite sure what felt different about this one.  Maybe it was just that he made me feel comfortable and secure.  I slept more soundly snuggled up in his arms than I have in recent memory.  (Okay, that could have also been the alcohol.)  Maybe it was that there was no expectation of anything continuing since he lives on the other side of the country.  Maybe it was just that it was fun and completely unexpected.  For once, I just enjoyed what life threw at me.

But more than anything else, he reminded me that there really are attractive, young, smart, straight, single men out there.   And he was really nice too.  It made me wonder if I have been unnecessarily putting up with a lot of shit from New York boys and not even realizing it.  He reminded me that maybe not all cute boys are assholes.  And he reminded me how fun it can be to be single.   After a year of being heartbreakingly disheartened and constantly worn down, it was a reminder that I absolutely needed.